cd 22, cycle 16, sat, all jitteries waitin 4 er+2d review

i reminded him 2times that if there is really no embryo / embryos to trf, pls pull me out of doc ofc in case i breakdown n refuse 2cum out…

hope è mc can indicate unfit 4travel n i can refund é tigerair medan air tkts too…

i wok up from a nightmare ard 6am, keep hearin a nurse tellin me 3 or 30%…

reached kk @8.30am, bt, paperwork, was supposed 2return 1hr later 2do et when bt is out… we top up è parkin coupon, spent smtim lookin @è kk park pond, tortises, talk about how many embryo 2trf. we both think should trf max, i told dar dar i m not scared of twins, more worried about not be able to be preggie.

went back 2kk ivf clinic, waited n waited… drk n drk… finally our turn, n phew, i get 2change 2é red skirt robe! woohoo!! i ask è nurse if there is anythg 2trf, she said yes lar, if nothg 2trf no need 2change liao… dr thh came in, told me out of 18 eggs 12 can b used, 2good condition (grade4 5cell), 1kiv, è rest perish. he said pcos very common to have many eggs tat r small n cannot be used. nx cycle wun b much difference coz if start at 250iu, will hav many eggs but i will probably b in hospital by et…

so he will trf è 2looking good ones, btw doc thh din even ask me how many i wan 2trf.. happened our decision is also to trf two (é limit)… prep as é chair/bed transform, raised, gel on stomach n è same nurse scan. there is a small tv hangin on my left, as expected we check è name n nric on è dish with é 2embryos, to my surprise it’s actually a marker written one…

anyway trf done, rest time n signing of one more form b4 we took off. hubz says dr thh looks young, but he is head of reprod med… can’t b too young bah…

é embroygist came n told us è gradin, n all fertilisation via icsi, so future ivf will b icsi also… since all eggs r fertilise via icsi i shall not need 2waste money on iui then. the 2embryos trf looks good 2them…. i show my watsapp ttc kakis, coz i dun understand anyways…

washroom, cheque writing (i brought my cheque book along, pen, but dun dare 2write b4 talkin 2thh!!) then 2 è pharmacy 4é 2week insert pills, n off 2bugis 4lunch! on é way back, we saw è tortises climbin up 2è grass sunnin themselves! they r really mobile! was really hungry!! we had ramen @é 4seasons ramen place along rochor road.

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sm1 told me b4 tat prayin 2god may not be enough. god may wish that one have done smthg 2 help himself so that god can help him

we already tried 2help ourselves, hope zsnn n all é dieties send a healthy bb 2b 注生 reg under us. we will take good care of è bb, n will brg bb up well, brg more joy n laughter to our families! bo pi bo pi…

wat worry me is è bt is on a mon n é sat b4 tat besties n é 6 +1bb L of us r meetin 4xmas, oct cum dec bbs celebration…

juz like durin iui, we met on tat sat b4 bt for bestie j n q weddin, around tat time i started spottin, n é bt on tat mon was neg…

new timeline
18nov-2dec – stimulating med
3 dec – hcg trigger @11.30pm
5 dec – er
7 dec – et (2 grade 4, 5 cell embryos)
7-8 dec – medan (cancelled)
11 dec – dental aptm
13-15 dec – KL
16 dec – start work (dun think so)
23 dec – blood test
early sep 2014 – edd healthy bb (many variables… cross finger)

we had din @18 chefs @tiong, n bought gong cha, 2cups, yumzz…
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cd 20, cycle 16, er drama mama

i m startin this on thurs night, will take a while 2finish, coz i feel sleepy, not sure y…

updated timeline

18nov-2dec – stimulating med
5 dec – er
8 dec – et (dependin in num# embryo)
7-8 dec – medan (cancelled)
11 dec – dental aptm
13-15 dec – KL
16 dec – start work (dun think so)
23 dec – blood test (dependin if there is et at all)
early sep 2014 – edd healthy bb (many variables… cross finger)

it started with checkin in @kk ivf, 10.15am, for once we r not late… changed in2 white n pink robe n sat at the bench chair 2wait 4prep… é drip needle adminstrator was quite ok, mayb due to a very experience nurse mdm lee… while doin this procedure, i saw a lady being wheeled out. she look steam, neck red, pale. signed é paper 4a research on new drug, if i have more than 20eggs retrieve, i can try a new drug. prevent ohss.

my turn, i walk in, took out pink robe, sat on é ot bed edge, lied down, strap heart monitor with patches on chest n on finger… dr thh came n say hi, i said hi too. a oxygen mask n smthg 2monitor breathin. è anethesia said she administered é med, my left hand felt numb, but i can still feel everythg, n i was not drowsy at all. i told her i feel pain n she said it’s goin 2b over soon… é pain was bearable, but i was 2shock… i even ask é nurse if i can hold her hand coz i was 2scared…

it ended, i was wheel out. i covered my face with è pink robe, i din wan any1 2see me in such a sorry state…

i could not drink yet, n had 2wait 4é drip (electrolytes) 2finish 1st b4 a cup of milo was given 2me… done, sat up, walk to pee n change. i was told doc retrieve 18eggs, hopefully there b @least 2good embryos 2trf n a healthy bb, smooth pregnancy…

discharge aft sm paper signin n briefin by nurse.. he return 2kk n pick me up… é cramps n tissue pain becam more obvious on é trip hm. my tears drip non-stop unctrl’bly… he ta bao porridge, chicken rice, n kopi for é 2of us… i was really sleepy aft lunch, so took é antibiotic n went into è rm, curl up n slept… é pain is é combination of a very bad cramp n tissue tear inside é body… felt better when i wok up, we went 4teochew porridge, grocery stockin up @nex.

headed hm 2digust tat drama sil bitchin abt how 2incorp reunion din with her own family… y muz we incorp her family? can’t they do one on their own? crazy women…

cd 5 cycle 16, 3rd day of puregon jabbin

i got more tired aft gym on tues, sleepin on é sofa for like 1 hr late noon while laundryin is goin on in kitchen.

wed was a nightmare. i could hardly get out of bed even at 10am. i was 30mins late from my planned jab time. i staggered out of bedrm, was hardly able 2stand up straight n rest on sofa 4another 10 mins… mayb begining of a nightmare.

finally made my way 2é fridge n jab another dose of 150iu puregon. é rest of é day was still feelin tired, lethagic n restless. tml onwards i will hav 1 more injection for 5days (thur-mon). hope i dun feel worse aft this additional drug.

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but i did not let myself roll on sofa or bed longer. made lunch, noodles, cai xin n frozen seafood.. aft lunch i vaccum é house, mop n clean up our home a bit. it’s been a while n thgs r gettin dusty…

bath, used é long bought body scrub, fancl powder scrub sample… as part of my effort 2clear these long time purchase…
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tidied è working desk n moved my laptop in2 é platform rm, fixed é fallin out stuff in é rm. it’s been too long, no more slacking. all thgs in place, on pc, printed é KL trip air tickets, checked details again, clipped on our little white board. together w/my medan trip, they are all in one stack. am applying 4jobs, hopefully will get smthg i will enjoy doing! smtimes i think back do i regret leavin my seemingly pretigous position in é bank n laze @hm 无所事是 all day… actually i really dun, i would hav gone crazy if i stayed on. now i look 4ward 2a new role, either something i like or something less with responsibility.

this is my wish n plan, god bless, please let it come true. but as always life throws us all over è place, so nx yr this tim, xmas, let’s see how n wat we will be!

18-29 nov – stimulating med
2 dec – er
4 dec – et
7-8 dec – medan
11 dec – dental aptm
13-15 dec – KL
16 dec – start work (watever work)
21 dec – blood test, bfp (hopefully)
early sep 2014 – edd healthy bb (hopefully hopefully please!!)

like i always say my wishes to zsnn, please bless us with a healthy baby, we will 还願 with red eggs, share è blessings with more 信徒 n 添香油.

i really tried my best, keep my weight not over 60kg, exercise as n when i can. rest, drk vit c, cherries.

please let this nov 2013 cycle b a success with a good pregnacy n healthy baby, i m not afraid of é loneiness @hm alone, giddy/headache, pain of injection or any discomfort to come with er, but i m very frighten of failure.. afraid 4af to start.. sobzz… i imagine while waitin 2go 4er, if i meet sm1 @é operatin theatre while queuing, i will smile n tell é person how scared i m of failure…

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