after this et

its a 2d trf on 1 jul fri.

b4 that are twitches n pullin..

7d2dt – on fri i started to see dots of red

9d2dt – on sun i see small streaks of red

10d2dt – this mon morn streaks of red on crione applicator red, dark red.. n when i wipe..

i will go bt on sat..  @least i can tell the nurse i m spottin… hope i can last till then…

the streak of red turn to flow of red.. urgg.. the earliest i can go for blood test is thur..  mus try 2tahan till then…

this is the 3rd fresh…

21 eggs

20 usable

14 fertilised

12 multi-nuclear embryo, not usable by kk ivf lab standards. chance of correction low & even if it leads to pregnancy, it will miscarry.

1 grade 3 d2 embryo trf

1 bi-nuclear embryo under observation trf, as per thh instructions

thh exact words is history repeat itself, many eggs but only 1 or 2 embryos

this cycle is a test of my endurance.. i jab until bruises red itch all over…a sticky junior charging at me like a bull, knocking his head all over me, n cling on me like a koala n smellin my clothes.. in addition of switchin to his new school..

i think i tried my best, at my age n his age, i dun think the next cycle will be any better.. but at least i tried hard.. 2weeks later i m goin 2try 2bend their rules n go 4bt early… n also help myself to move on on a new week…

we will see..

experience from this 3rd round of fresh…

er day-not much pain or cramp aft er, 21eggs.. jus a bit sore n need 2walk slowly.. mayb coz i had a pregnancy b4.. hence body streched 2tolerate the er

little dark red clots n spotting

1d post er-bloat…

spotting

2d post er-bloat n shock by the # of normal embryos

a little spotting

1x crinone gel at noon, aft childcare coz i rush hm immed aft et..n i doze off b4 2nd crinone gel

3d post er-not so bloat liao…

almost no spotting, 3x crinone gel

i shall keep to 2x crinone gel per day till the sat, for now…

er-ing all the way…

gosh… we made it to er.. 21 eggs.. n i really black out aft the sedation.. 

i check in at 8am..thh came in at 9am.. i was the 1st patient doin procedure for the day… 

the sedation drip in  n like a tone of gray flashin over n n i forgot everythg.. by the time i was awake it was 9.40am-ish..
it din hurt tat much lik my 2nd er.. n i din break out in cold sweat aft er too… i could eat.. nap..

but i do feel very very bloated.. we will see how it goes for fri.. i need 2do blood test for ohss.. interesting..

smthg pre er to sooth myself…

menses is back!

since mid yr i m jus latchin at night n finally menses flowed… glad in a way, hope my pcos will b milder n soon we can have a junior II…

work is rough w/new faces… meow~~

in é way it’s heavier than the normal menses i used 2have… hope this is a bright start! to normal cycles ahead…

i manage 2not latch whole night, i feel him smellin 4milk n comfort… but i think have 2stop at some point.

many more things 2learn…

we visited dr tan! so happy!! could say hi to him, thank him n è team n show him our almighty junior! too bad junior poo n dr tan din carry him… he use 1 hand 2scan n 1 hand 2do et, n we hav junior here now.. wat else can we say.. we will cherish…

we went 4a baby massage class n learnt junior hav a lot of gas in his bloated tummy.. i m goin 2try ridwind, burp n massage for him this 1week.. hope he get better n more managable….

since i laid off è burdens @work, if junior gets better, i will b much happier for the rest of é maternity leave!

junior is not takin his nap.. so i pop him in2 carrier n bounce all é way 2post ofc n library… @least time pass faster…
image

let’s try 2start readin…

end of this week is meetin old kaki n baby fair shopping! hope junior behaves…

final countdown to 30apr

27 apr 14 sun
went back mil shop 2help her as fil said she was sick n fil hav been there since noon. she was feelin giddy. not 1st time in recent times, hope she’s alright.

i scrub é toilet 2day. was thinkin if thgs dun turn out well n i end up doin d&c or smthg else tat day, at least he hav a clean toilet 2use. same thg i m clearin é fridge, so in case i dun wake up, he got less thgs 2worry.

on wed, if there is no hb, i shall try 2cheer myself n mov on. no cryin will help. i kinda took very good care of myself already…

i still hav sm pull n 酸 feelin now n then. sore boobs, on n off…

btw we had a very good early dinner…

image

image

28 apr 14 mon
i had very scary dreams juz b4 wakin up.. i dreamt that i went 4scans outside of kk n the doc or sonographer could not find é bb… n i think i repeat é scan at another place n é same thg happened.. so scary!!

this morng it was rainy, let’s see if é rain continues in é west…

sm cramps in é noon, sm yellow discharge, a funny nausea feelin tat goes away with food… 1 day passed. last workin day b4 é scary aptm…

in é evenin i feel my boobs r less sore already… so sad… 1 more workin day n i can start holdin my breath for é 死刑.

29 apr 14 tue
i m so scared. it’s end of day already… i m on way 2tak mrt hm. prayin very hard bb is well in tml scan. but i dun feel pregnant now. less sore boobs n no more funny twigs at stomach…

i still hav é extreme fatigue feel.. most of é time…

30 apr 14 wed
today is é day! i almost hav no sore boobs when i woke this morn…

there is hb, cling on 2our hope till 17 may.

é scan at kk amc was done by a non local chinese lady with another lady helpin her… she saw é sac, fetal pole, n yolk. i din see dr tan hh, i saw a mo n she said i m discharged from kk ivf liao… i will stay with dr tan hh for now, till we get to a later stage… he feels very amazed at é hb even though i m very sceptical of wat will happen nex…

we headed 2lunch @é mall near ofc n tried smthg intg n new… cold storage 2buy sm food 4é ofc n return 2ofc 2work… when i alight from é car, i streched a bit 2reach for a grocery bag. i felt so worried aft tat, i muz not do thgs tat i will regret again… é whole of noon is tired n nausea… i m contemplatin if i should go for 2nd opinion 4more scans…

wakin up to 20apr

1d past bt (14dp4dt), i din really believe anythg till i saw é clearblue digital hpt…

image

i told my whatsapp fren yest abt é et n bt..  feel bad not keepin them informed, but i really wasn’t ready 2share.

bought 2digital hpt last night, i will test again b4 i go 4scannin, juz 2b prepared.

i m goin 2wak up n cook congee later!

i finished é morn insert, rest for another hour n wok 2start cookin n do laundry. looks like goin 2rain soon, cloudy day…

i napped for a while n finish laundry, porridge for him n was surfin net for leads that i hav 2work on tml when i go back 2work.

i m goin 2check é calendar n let boss know i need 2tak medical leave nex wed. in any case hope i get 2go 2é scan nex wed. u never know.

din @my much craved kimchi restaurant n enjoyed è instant coffee very much! we actually ordered é same thg as last time. i was tellin him we can cum once a mth. totally luv é toufu seafood soup. nex tim i will write no crab n octopus…
image
as i read more abt ivf bfp i got more scared. looks like a lot of blighted ovum n chemical pregnancy. he says dun think too much juz tak 1step @a time… i really hope 4a healthy bb due in dec. healthy twins will b great too!

er 2nd fresh ivf

i ask é aesthesian more questions this time, n i actually doze off when é procedure started… i kinda woke as i was wheel out n i rem i covered my face with blanket… i think é aesthesian ask if i was ok, n i think i said i look like shit, n sm1 said i look ok…

i already felt more pain n cramp even when i juz wok up… n a bad growin gas feel in é stomach… even when i was about 2discharge, i hav difficulity tryin 2pee.. i had 2request for 1 more glass of water n tried hard 2pee… finally all good n i can go. i actually broke out in cold sweat while listenin 2é discharge instructions. something very unsual… to a very big surprise, i only have 13 eggs n when i return on thur, i dun even need 2do bt for ohss. by é ratio from 1st fresh ivf treatment, i may hav only 1 embryo or none 4trf… sgd11k for 1chance of about 30% possibility of havin a baby, wat an expensive try!! this menopur of fsh is é max dosage i think, not sure wat else can b done. let me ask dr thh on thurs, hope i see him…

dar dar was waitin 4me outside at kkivf. i met J briefly as she was waitin at clinic D, exchange a few greetings n i went off.. i was feelin really giddy n cold sweat all over…

on é way hm, é headhunter called n ask if i was keen on another job from é same institutñ he ask b4, i still share n said open 2lookin at it. till é day i get a good full clearance i wun feel safe with anythg…

back hm, i had sm porridge n fell asleep feelin giddy n also watsappin w/é gers about 2day n W’s et n J’s meetin with our fav ttc doc. é poridge is nit nice, too dry mayb cuz cook 4too long…

é tb orders re-delivery arrived lik 3pm plus, so happy! é plate is nicely set-up already, right @45deg view when our main door opens. even though i think he is goin 2b upset with my nonsense buy again…

image

image

E from watsapp group was askin abt settin up online biz, i m happy 2help in anyway n hope she suceed!

mon quiet-ing

i went 2zsnn this morn at 9am plus, with pomegranate, grapes n powder… prayin 4my er et success n a healthy bb in 2014. headed 2tpy bought a cafe machiato from KOI this may b my last coffee for a while, i also headed 2supermart 2buy sm stuff 2cook.. 

back hm, i realised é tb delivery was here in é morn, i m hopin é delivery cum back again by 2day. i m finishin é task 1by1, was sweatin lik crazy by é time i finish w/moppi n n vaccum…

cook sm lunch n m lazin @sofa will wash up é dishes n prepare 4dinner… am tryin 2finish é food in freezer, same thing in case i dun wake up tml…

finished é chores n a pleasant surprise called 2pm plus.. though not set in stone till further clearance, i m still happy with wat i heard so far…

lookin 4ward 2er tml! may it give us a healthy bb in 9m!! we muz believe things happen 4a reason…

din was a bit messy, but good try, @least 2myself…

image