final countdown to 30apr

27 apr 14 sun
went back mil shop 2help her as fil said she was sick n fil hav been there since noon. she was feelin giddy. not 1st time in recent times, hope she’s alright.

i scrub é toilet 2day. was thinkin if thgs dun turn out well n i end up doin d&c or smthg else tat day, at least he hav a clean toilet 2use. same thg i m clearin é fridge, so in case i dun wake up, he got less thgs 2worry.

on wed, if there is no hb, i shall try 2cheer myself n mov on. no cryin will help. i kinda took very good care of myself already…

i still hav sm pull n 酸 feelin now n then. sore boobs, on n off…

btw we had a very good early dinner…

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28 apr 14 mon
i had very scary dreams juz b4 wakin up.. i dreamt that i went 4scans outside of kk n the doc or sonographer could not find é bb… n i think i repeat é scan at another place n é same thg happened.. so scary!!

this morng it was rainy, let’s see if é rain continues in é west…

sm cramps in é noon, sm yellow discharge, a funny nausea feelin tat goes away with food… 1 day passed. last workin day b4 é scary aptm…

in é evenin i feel my boobs r less sore already… so sad… 1 more workin day n i can start holdin my breath for é 死刑.

29 apr 14 tue
i m so scared. it’s end of day already… i m on way 2tak mrt hm. prayin very hard bb is well in tml scan. but i dun feel pregnant now. less sore boobs n no more funny twigs at stomach…

i still hav é extreme fatigue feel.. most of é time…

30 apr 14 wed
today is é day! i almost hav no sore boobs when i woke this morn…

there is hb, cling on 2our hope till 17 may.

é scan at kk amc was done by a non local chinese lady with another lady helpin her… she saw é sac, fetal pole, n yolk. i din see dr tan hh, i saw a mo n she said i m discharged from kk ivf liao… i will stay with dr tan hh for now, till we get to a later stage… he feels very amazed at é hb even though i m very sceptical of wat will happen nex…

we headed 2lunch @é mall near ofc n tried smthg intg n new… cold storage 2buy sm food 4é ofc n return 2ofc 2work… when i alight from é car, i streched a bit 2reach for a grocery bag. i felt so worried aft tat, i muz not do thgs tat i will regret again… é whole of noon is tired n nausea… i m contemplatin if i should go for 2nd opinion 4more scans…

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