… n é phn really rang on sat morng…

i got a call at 8.11am, kkivf called n inform me 2cum down 4et, i huh n confirmed 2times my name… i m here n looks like indeed there will be et…

i shake him a bit n told him kk called me 2go down immediately, i will go down alone, he wok up and said he wans 2cum with me n bounce out of bed immediately… he is not well, down with block nose, poor baby.

indeed there were 2embryo at morula stage. dr tan hh looks happy n said good news we can trf 2, but to me i m still worried. my results r really bad, we juz need 1 to suceed n hav a healthy baby! i think we din look 2happy, dr tan keep sayin dun worry. today’s trf is not as smooth as é previous time, he had a hard time placin é right locatñ, n i think it’s coz é nurse is not too familar with é scanning n din exert é right pressure accordingly… dr tan had 2strech out his hand 2position é handheld device to get é scan right b4 he manage 2do the transfer…

results of fresh ivf #2 @kkivf with dr thh
total 13 eggs retrieved n all mature eggs
8 successfully fertilised via icsi
4 embryos at different number of cells stage at d2, but show bi-nucleauity, not suitable for transfer, kept for culture n observation
2 morula stage embryos et d4 5apr, no grading, both look normal, no significant fragmentation, no need for assisting laser hatching

basically é embryologist said bi-nucleauity is not normal, but it can be part of é process when é cells r dividing. so since é embryo can progress 2morula stage dr thh will juz trf n try our best… é embryologist said one is better, but i dun rem which one..
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hope my new job starts well on mon n a healthy baby in 9mths!

i read more abit bi-nucleauity n realise it cause a even lower pregnancy rate… no matter wat i still think our 2embees r fighters! they work their way to d4 with not much fragments! if they are meant 2b our babies, we hope they will fight 2é end n be our healthy babies… i made a wish 2my god on fri night, if these embryos are meant to be our babies, please let them fight hard, be healthy n be in our arms!

i also wan 2giv him a big hug n kiss, he hates wakin up early but never fail 2rise or bounce n shine if i m due 2go kk for anythg… how sweet is that, i m quite independent 2do my own inserts n rem instructions 4med, but he never fail 2remind me abt thgs he knows.. like é inserts..

0dp4dt (sat) 5apr14
bloated stomach n slight pain
some pullin at right uterus at night

1dp4dt (sun) 6apr14
finally able to clear non liquid bowel, still feel a bit tender @stomach
i m tryin 2catch up on é missed inserts…

2dp4dt (mon) 7apr14
酸 at lower abdomen, esp when i walk a lot… i guess it may be from é med n é recovery from é er… anyway happy 1st day @work! boss is demanding, but i guess it is good in a way… n é intv wr i love 2 nua actually wrote back n offer me.. aft exactly 1 mth ago! i told them i will get back by mid week…

3dp4dt (tue) 8apr14
i try not to think too much, but sadly, i feel less cramp now… even when i walk, but i do get very tired, mayb coz of é cough n flu… it was rainin 2day, n when we were returnin from mum’s place, he ran 2bb black 2get an umbrella n shelter me. **sweet**

4dp4dt (wed) 9apr14
jus as when i m about 2go hm, i almost felt lik cryin.. i almost dun feel any cramps, any pulling… this is so so sad!! i dun hav è courage 2live till nex sat. we accidentially step onto a very crowded ban nian coffeeshop. we waited lik 40mins 4é noodles n had ngoh hiang while waitin…
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5dp4dt (thur) 10apr14
i feel very slight suan yest n today, almost nothing.. omg, so sad…

6dp4dt (fri) 11apr14
survive 1st week @work… buzy n many thgs 2learn. demandin boss as i knew. i m puttin é inserts as i have 2… dun feel anythg much… please let it b a success… but i m still very worried…

7dp4dt (sat) 12apr14
can’t believe last sat we really went back 4et. it’s sat, i m curlin up @sofa. n tonight is cousin’s bb 1st mth celebratñ, happy 4them, sad 4myself…

at lik 8pm i saw sm streaks of red in wipe n at 11.30pm, there is dark brown red stainin on liner, sobz… n i feel sm cramp on n off liao. when we reach hm @2am, there is pink discharge when i wipe.

8dp4dt (sun) 13apr14
i wok around 8.40am, went toilet n tested 2see a neg hpt n light T line for opk. at least i m mentally more prepared n know/feel how é bt result will b. but i will still continue 2put all inserts n folic acid till nex sat morn. this wk will b full of lots of red b brave.

9dp4dt (mon) 14apr14
i continue 2see light pink n brown red in é noon, esp aft é inserts… n i got kk reminder for é bt this sat. so weird 2b thinkin if i can tahan till sat… usually by thurs é flow will b really a lot, too much 2handle…

10dp4dt (tue) 15apr14
as usual i see pink esp aft é noon insert. now as i m on mrt goin hm, i feel sm pullin cramp on left side mostly.

i m so glad with é help of prune juice, i manage 2clear most of my stuck bowel this morning. i joined another group 4lunch 2day n realised if i eat at 11.30am, i get hungry by 4pm… i hang on n drk lipton tea followed by a string of 3 sotong balls while takin mrt hm. din @mum’s place 2night! i can eat all i wan!!

11dp4dt (wed) 16apr14
i still see sm dark red streaks n pink watery discharge, n noon around 5pm plus, i feel a sudden gush n i rush 2toilet, wipe n there was a thick egg white slippery discharge.. so scary… i feel sm tightenin contractñ as i m on train now.. while i still wish 4a bfp, i know i tested on sun n it’s not…

i went 2star vista 2walk a bit n realise there is really nothin much… i had an oyster mee sua n ice latte… nice latte..
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12dp4dt (thur) 17apr14
coz i did é wed night insert quite late lik 2am, in é end i din put é insert on thur morn b4 work. instead i put it aft é papers at around 9am plus. it’s was a sleepy day. i went off @6pm n headed 2orc 2meet é gers 4steamboat. nice dinner, lots chit chat n good food…

i din spot or hav pink discharge at all…

13dp4dt (fri) 18apr14
breakfast with sis @changi city point, wanted 2try eggs n berries, but they were so crowded, in é end we dine @cfe bean and tea leaves!

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i finished é last folic acid, din imagine i could last till fri w/o havin 2panick 4early bt due 2é heavy menses… anyway i already kinda feel é results i will get tml, sgd10k out of é window juz lik tat! i hope he can cum with me tml, let’s go for a good brkfast aft bt 2celebrate another round of failed ivf/icsi.

aft many places in é day, i ask if he could cum fetch us @parkway 2bugis coz mummy wanted 2go pai pai n 2brg é inserts out coz it was almost due 4noon inserts. he cam n fetch us, we went bugis n did é insert… actually i told him since bt is tml can dun put liao… he say jus put n go 4bt. dun think too much.

we went orc walk walk n bought sm stuff, 4é little one too, nicee…

i canot imagine i survive till bt-1d w/o heavy bleedin, let’s see how tml. b brave.

14dp4dt (sat) 19apr14
i m really goin 4é bt now! omg!

é wait 4é bt was 50mins, n é nurse help me change é prescriptñ 2subsidised infertility1. smhow i m not convinced n i will ask 2see doc @subsidised clinic d again.

we went racecourse zsnn 2pray as it’s zsnn bdae 2day. met j n her hub there, hub was askin if she’s é same one as é fren i saw on er. yes, she is!

brunch @boon keng mkt aft tat, sweat buckets, nice fish ball noodles…

it’s 12.25, nurse have not called 2announce é death sentence, it feel so dark.

at 1.06pm, è nurse really called. she said congragulations i m pregnant, i said really? n ask really wats é readin? she said it’s 815.6 n ask me 2go down 2collect é med quickly coz pharmacy closes soon. i wok him up from his nap n we rush down, he said again? n quickly wash up 2prepare…

i got é cleaner @clinicd 2open é door 2go in2 kkivf n nurse wendy said 2tak a q num#. so i got é prescriptñ n inxn 4inserts. asked my questñ on é spottin, n left 4pharmacy. 2early 2b happy, esp when hpt dun really show positive. let’s see how.

é nurse said no need 4repeat bt n nex aptm 30apr 2check 4pregnancy viability, hope all goes well.

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