mon quiet-ing

i went 2zsnn this morn at 9am plus, with pomegranate, grapes n powder… prayin 4my er et success n a healthy bb in 2014. headed 2tpy bought a cafe machiato from KOI this may b my last coffee for a while, i also headed 2supermart 2buy sm stuff 2cook.. 

back hm, i realised é tb delivery was here in é morn, i m hopin é delivery cum back again by 2day. i m finishin é task 1by1, was sweatin lik crazy by é time i finish w/moppi n n vaccum…

cook sm lunch n m lazin @sofa will wash up é dishes n prepare 4dinner… am tryin 2finish é food in freezer, same thing in case i dun wake up tml…

finished é chores n a pleasant surprise called 2pm plus.. though not set in stone till further clearance, i m still happy with wat i heard so far…

lookin 4ward 2er tml! may it give us a healthy bb in 9m!! we muz believe things happen 4a reason…

din was a bit messy, but good try, @least 2myself…

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last jab on sun

i wok up @8am plus 4è last garnelix jab… ouch ouch but it’s over 4now… 2nite will b bt n trigger @kk 24h clinic. mon will b borin… but i will schedule in sm stuff 2keep myself occupied.. was talkin 2dar dar last night on sis not gettin help on ttc yet etc… one can only help themselves… it’s a long process tat require courage n support from hubz…

i really wish 4success n a healthy bb in 9m. n 2start a ft job tat pays decent n b fulfiling…

we went 2suntec 4din, a very nice korean restaurant called kimchi!! he luv it too! i find é manager very cute! é lady @reception n cashier very cute n nice smile! é so called korean coffee tasted more like 3 in 1 kind… this is my 2nd time.. reasonable servin good value 4money…
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bt n injection @kk was easy… nothin like this is considered painful for me… now i shall complete my tasks listed 4tml n hope 4é best on tues morn…

fri kk ivf surprise!!

i reached kk ivf @9.55am, n i was in é scannin rm lik 50mins later, karen was on duty today n she said she will take a while 2day 2measure 1 by 1… indeed she took a while n there were quite a number of follicles.. to my surprise…

especially in right ovary, lik 15… biggest 14.5, smallest 9
left mayb 6 follicles n smallest 8
total 21
linnin 8mm…

é reviewin doc said most likely only a few of é bigger ones can b used… n è reviewin doc said er on tues, trigger on sun. he’s got smthg on wed, good in a  way we r totally not goin 2do anythg on wed! let’s hope we hav good embryos 2trf, bfp n a healthy baby in 9m… i went 2é guan yin temple n met r, so qiao… we talked a bit n she walked from her office, tat’s far!!

this makes 10d of stimulation, sun night i hav 2go back 2 24h clinic for bt n hcg trigger… n i will only know time of er sat afternoon…

i managed to buy this toy from bugis area, a very old school one today!! it was out of stock in a lot of places…

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one for é little one in tw n é other one for é little one tat juz learnt how to walk!!

today is fri, i wonder if é hr from wed intv will call.. it’s 2.30pm now, i guess mayb no calls 4today…

at 6pm no1 called, hiazz… keep goin!!

thurs market chinatown

last night we were talkin abt dates n clashes with his schedules… i m worried too… abt different things happening..

we can only plan more when we know date of er…

mum called me around 10am plus n ask if i wanted 2go chinatown mkt 4fish shoppin… i finished my jab n went over… i literally forced é needles into my skin today, thank goodness it went in… back 2kk tml morn!!

i bought a slice of ngor fish n it cost sgd 6… not bad… we r eatin at hm 2night, finishin é left over food..

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smthg that happens 2fill up é week

just as i was thinkin i dun hav any aptm this whole week besides é kk aptm on mon morn… then i got an intv for tue noon w/é entrepruner start up firm.. then on tue morn, a edu orgñ called up, n while i applied for a supportive role, é hr offer me to consider a more biz mgtm support role, she interviewed me briefly over é phone n invited me 2their campus 4an interview this wed morn n later changed to noon…

tue session is interesting, é company is in a shophouse, small set-up, innovative business… é director is as well spoken as i thought n é biz is a very special one.. i m not very confident if i can help him on all é office adminstratñ… shall see…

wed intv is a very special one… é hr actually prep me on how i should meet the manager… n é manager is indeed a very aggressive one… i am hoping it goes through… n i shall wait… this is something that i feel i will be very motivated to be in! despite é travelling distance. and é director is a very self driven one, she expects her team to fly as well!!

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aft an hour of talkin, i m very thirsty, happy drinkin @jems…

now thur is empty n it’s not a good day 4prayin.. mayb i shall spend my time practicing excel! n readin more.. but i got a feelin i will sneak out 2walk walk…

é needles r getting painful, but i can only endure! hope i bfp here!!

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aft jems i went 2taka 2get smthg i wanted 2buy for a long time! n aft everythg he was still @work.. so i juz made my way hm n he text me just as my train was reachin lavender… met him @é mrt near hm n we went 2é tanjong katong pungol nasi lemak, n had waffles n latte aft tat.. ex din tonight…

é waffles n latte is about sgd 3.3 + 4.8 + 0.5 + 4.5 = 12++ so ex… it’s @é little ice cream shop!! LICK!!
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review aft 4d of stimulatñ

linnin 6mm, right 1 9mm n 3 more like 6.5 to 7.5… left 4 follicles 7.5 to 6mm…

not as fast as i thought.. but better than nothing…

i got é email 4é intv opp i heard on fri… let me try my best.. we drove by n took a quick look @tat location so i know how 2walk there tml… i dun think they will like me, but i gotta try!

sat thougts…

i accidentially made 2mistakes w/my saizen 2day… hope it’s ok… shall be more careful if i get 2mix é nex dose.

i had 2 weird dreams… i seem 2forgot abt one of them now.. one of them is a bit notti, but seem so real…

n while loitterin @mil shop, i checked some career advice webbie on moving 2lower level jobs, feel quite positive aft readin, duno why i really like é company n role i heard on fri… hope i get 2go 4an interview afterall!

my watsapp fren shared a bazi webbie w/me last sun, accordingly dar dar n my bazi kids bazi element weight is above average.. hopefully i get 2deliver a healthy bb from this round if fresh ivf!

n in my mind, i suddenly thought of how 2 announce é arrival of our little one 2bil n sil in tw n on fb… i guess tat’s part of day dreamin!

1st mixin on my own…

i managed 2do é mixin if menopur on my own today! tml it will be saizen in addition of menopur! hope i get good results on mon… n i dun need so many days of jab this round… é saizen took a bit of painful pinch b4 i manage 2poke é needles into my stomach.

buzy job hunt whole day 2day… a head hunter called late noon n we talk about 1 good company n good opp tat i will b happy if i can take on… i nearly din send out é application, but i guess this is far from intv as always n even further away from gettin a job. i can only n shall keep trying!! let me continue 2look 4ward 2a good ft position where i will b happy 2work hard!!

keep lookin n send out any applications, for jobs that i think i will enjoy…

we r @tawadang now, luv é atmosphere, é performers here love what they r doin. i m enjoyin myself so much, basically anywr as long as he is with me… meow~~

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it’s so high here, how i wish i can cum back smtim n drk 2my hearts content, preferably while preggie!!

é rest of é performance were juz as great with very good guest singers as well! i actually drove him home, woo hoo! he say i dun drive well, but not bad i guess, since i did reach hm n park!

é feelin of drawing q# from service 1, all over again…

i m back @kk ivf center.. waitin 4 my turn 2do é pre ivf commencem scan… i heard so many disappointm stories… hope i m able 2start a fresh cycle today… i think i saw one of é sonographer preggie, she’s young n nice… happy 4her, sad 4myself…

when i cam back 2weeks ago 4bt, i saw one of é nurse who was helpin durin et looks like she already delivered…

i hav been here since 8.57am, n aft i hot my q num#, i went 2clinic D 2check if é revised invoice hav been generated n indeed it hav been re-gen as subsidised.. made paym, bought teh-c less sugar, finished it, n am still waitin…

while playin é clash of clan, i learnt how 2win… smtimes we dun hav 2win heads on clash, dependin on each plot, there r flaws in it’s own strategy sometimes… he ask me why i m playin é game since it’s a more like a men’s fightin game… but actually i like watever he likes… as long as it’s not too dumb… heehees…

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we juz need 2know é bottom line required 2win, n keep resources 2attack @é right spots to win it!

luckily i m able 2start this fresh… phew… lots of mixin n é needles dun hurt at all..

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by é time i finished it was about 12pm.. i m so glad i can start a fresh cycle!!

moments…

this week is filled with frightenin moments again… on why i m not workin, why ivf is not workin, why i quit my job n not continue 2struggle…

i guess this period like i said b4 is a very impt period where i can look back @myself… feel better, think better… tried my best 2hav our baby n not have regrets 4not tryin while i m @a good age…

i may not be able 2get back 2a comfy familar orgñ, but i also think this is not i wan… let me try my best @this round of ivf, n find a new ft job soon!! i do think many applications i made may have made é employer sceptical y i quit w/o a job… well i guess tat makes them lousy bosses as sm1 who doesn’t look forward! if it’s meant to be, i will get 1 good opp 2do what i m good at!! i juz need 1 good opp, isn’t that always é case…

i called kk ivf 2day, i shall go back tml morn 2ask scan, n hopefully i can start my fresh cycle… u never know, i dun even dare 2buy chill bag… whatever will happen will happen, sittin there n worryin is not goin 2help anything!

n i think he is not happy today, i dun know why… mayb coz of work… let me try 2cheer him up, someway…

i was blind surfin é net n fb, i came across a few interestin quotes these few days…

I learned how to walk, and how to stop walking. What more could I want

面对问题, 问题就解决一半, 逃避問題,問題就增加一倍

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