1st kopi c this week

mad rush back from é intv 2ofc, reached ard 10.45!!

é intv was really good, a lot of insights 2é job, i really think i will stay long n go far there, but they may not hire me as é senior manager is not convinced i m ready 2leave wat i was doin… i granted myself a kopi c this morn as i wok up like 7am… i was @é door lik at 8am wr every1 was not there yet…

thanks 2è very clear directions é hr lady tat called me provided, i reached n got 2é office w/o sweatin…

i guess 2wks from now i can kill myself coz i know they wun b hiring me…

é happy thg is stat board agent called me 4another contract @a dif stat board, at least it shows tat i wasn’t rejected due 2é screening!!

work 2day is nerve racking, esp in late noon, i m not sure wat i have been doin so far is wat they r lookin for… we will find out in mon. for now it’s tgif, for a long time… cheers!

another day crawl by…

he is meetin his fren 2nite, so i b alone…

i was thinkin of goin 2taka sale 2browse b4 cumin back n chill @hm…

é agent on haircut day called in morn 2confirm é assignment, n will b goin 2sign è contract in noon, n mayb will go shoppin ard their ofc aft tat b4 taka… hopefully at least i dun need 2look 4temp in é nx 20days…

i really saw n signed a contract, haha.. smthg 2do 4é nex few weeks i hope… it’s at location wr i hav a direct bus, but it’s a bit winding… é agent was so cute, fresh young innocent lookin one… all é recruiters in é agency look very well dressed… i really hope this is smthg i can do well, n last for at least 1mth, better still if till after my 2nd fresh ivf n i find a more relevant perm 2start aft é fresh.. i bought a kopi c from my old tim fav stall, 2nd kopi 4è week… try 2cut down even more in future…
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kk called dar this morn… so funny.. he got no clue, he called me n ask me abt it. i was cleanin é windows so i called back when done, kinda ask more abt é usual practice, é dif in med, so most likely i will do it again in mar… puregon only contain fsh while menopur contains fsh n lh, stronger n cost more. saizen is to be administered daily, so nex fresh i will hav 3 injectables @sm point in time.

menopur+saizen+garnelix

i m really ok with é needles n everythg.. but i m worried i might b very depressed if we fail again..

taka shoppin – i could not help but bought 3 bottles of chloé perfume, their rose family complete! scumb 2é free gift – a 50ml l’eau de chloé n a luggage… nothin else much 2shop…

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i was shoppin ard, for dresses n clothes.. but when i look @my wardrobe, i think i hav more than 30 dresses 2wear a dif one every day of é mth… includin é ones packed folded in bags… try not 2buy, if not throw sm old ones 1st…

rainy thurs…

nany weird calls on thurs, includin é rejectñ of wed intv… keep trying… i juz need 2b focus..

more calls later in noon, includin é rejection of tues intv, é agent ask me abt 1 prospect, which is quite intg, anyway it’s a long way 2gettin it…

ft job ft job ft job!!

i m back at this place aft prayin, i din eat anythg 2day, a glass of ginger red dates n holick.. n a cup of hot choc now… é mood 2day is moody…

thgs can get depressin, but keep goin… there r many reasons y i choose 2walk out…

hang on there!!

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on way hm, i walk hm via park connector from 1mrt stop b4 hm… n agent on haircut day called again… he sent a prospect my cv, n é co. will call me in 5 – 15 mins.. in é end é call cam lik 1hr later when i was bathing. i return é call n it looks lik i can start on mon. but no1 @é agent pick up é call so i guess till tml i dun need 2pin on anythg… these thgs r messy… this walk is nice, well designed, bicycle friendly… but sm sections not too safe 4night i feel..

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it’s not a very glamourous job, but smthg 2explore a weak side of me… juz try, it will run till mid feb at least… if i really get it…

finally post ivf review

run through é list of questions… new med, higher dose, earlier review, additional med for nex cycle. luckiky we got 2see dr tan hh aft waitin 4a while… phew~~

bad news is é stat board rejected me.. so sad… keep trying!!

returnin, i still hav questions tat i haven ask, like with icsi any chance 2bfp naturally… n tat hcg was from the embryo tat grew n implant but is not an embryo tat can continue grow??

nex tim i see him will b er, if any… he also feels stoppin é insert wun cause é pregnancy 2b lost… it’s most likely a chemical pregnancy…

another lost day… sending orders luan… old ex clg ask smthg weird n far…

sunny tues morn!!

i hav been wakin up at 9am-ish, tat’s bad habit.. need 2 change it.

aft é 2nd round of alarm went off, i stumbled 2wash up n prep 4è meet up with é agent tat called late mon noon.. hope all goes well n will b on my way 2work on thurs morn!

my bbt remains very high above 36.6, this cycle is a mess.. hope thgs be better from now on.

é intv din go very well, as usual they r more int in y i left, if i can get it will b a good place 2stay for 5m n mayb train my people skills…. n till my nex ivf…

if canot get gotta keep finding… hope i get smthg f/t really soon…

gloomy 1st mon of è year…

2 days to seeing dr tan!! i muz start summarising my questions, n tak pics of supp. i m still very sad over é lost pregnancy, but at least now i truly believe it does happens!! nex round we may not be so lucky, 2hav good embryo 2et n implant, but at least i will give one good try!!

walked 2post ofc 2send a reg mail 4sat’s order n m waitin 4train 2meet ex-clgs now.. i guess they hav a lot 2tell with their kids, branded bag gift n super star concert!

another agent called juz now, it’s for a contract till mar, job scope sounds good, i can only wait n hope.. é stat board contract job send ackg on receivin my application… so 2m from now, if there r no news then i can chew myself… my best plans sits in my brain, but again not everythg goes è way u like… so keep ur mind open n continue hunting!

è lunch trigger a headache, it din go away w/a nap, n it got so bad tat even aft 2panadols it was still very painful. i had din n pöp é stronger pain killer, it
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1st fri of 2014

certainly thgs din go as i wished, i din get a ft job, nor did i get pregnant aft ivf…

i went 2another agency 2day 2sign up for temp prospects, hope i get smthg soon… i juz wan 2find smthg 2do ft tim now, preferably not goin back… my very long tim frien text juz now askin if i m seriously not thinkin of goin back… i told her not now.. hope i get é temp stat board job like right now, be on it for 5-6m, n get preggie by apr/may, hopefully i get converted 2perm by then or get another good perm job offer!

i still hav é panick moments now n then, worryin not being able 2find a job anymore… but i always need 2calm myself down, breath…

è right things n right person will happen n appear @é right time. things happen for a reason. i m not a naive 18y old ger trying 2believe in fairy tale. i m trying 2help myself by not forcing me 2do thgs tat will kill me.

keep trying!!

i tried 4another stat board job tat i think i can sink in, it’s on contract basis. recruitm takes place regularly… i really hope 2get that one too! let me pray 4a chance to attend an intv!!

i m sittin at é regular cafe i have been durin my ivf too. é tone 2day is moody…
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in é end i waited till he finished work, pick me @bugis, we shopped @chinatown a bit b4 headin 2dempsey 4é groupon redemptn din.. surprisingly it’s was good serving, fresh meat n seafood. mushroom n veg was a bit limited, but overall a very good experience. total vost is sgd 35, groupin sgd 25+beer sgd 5 n 7-up sgd 4, with service charge n gst…

tawanda after that, very intg show performance, he likes it. mayb we will go back again…
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another fri slips by.. let me continue 2job hunt!

jan 2014 roll in juz like tat…

1st jan is a sweet n relax day, went 2our fav hunts……
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on thurs, buzy job huntin aft slackin for few days.. n i realised there r really smhow more jobs postings this thurs…

i had sm panic moments at é thought of no job / career prospects… n kept thinkin anyway back 2that depressin place… but i kinda tell myself i really need to b able 2start afresh smwr else to make sure i can survive in é long run, independently .. prove to myself!!

i sent more than 20 applications 2day.. phew~~~

i wan to get a full time job, something in a dif environment, prove to yourself! u muz prove urself!!