as è new yr crawls nearer…

i was havin a lot of bad emotions last nite, i actually teared in é car as we were reachin hm, i m guilty for not goin 4bt earlier, n gettin more support… dar dar said even if i gone earlier é outcome will b é same… i should find smthg 2do n not keep thinkin abt it n we should try again! he also felt sad on xmas day but he got over it è nex day when he went back 2work as he felt it is not a very big thing… we r better off than a lot of people, tat’s so true.

at least i got him rootin 4me to go through ivf, try tcm n many other silly thgs together… quittin n bummin around @hm…

let me try 2step out of this sticky hole n start afresh. findin smthg 2keep me occupied will b good. 1st 2get at least a contract 3-6m job, keep me occupied b4 é nex fresh cycle… a perm job i like would b fine too. my dream would still b é stat board related job, hopefully i can b converted 2perm in 5mths….. dream on….i m tryin 2visualise this…

this sat morn, i wok up ard 10am.. did my stuff n bum around more… i m goin 2dig him up from his bed 2go try é prawn soup noodle or ba chor he hav been tellin me, n mayb 2compass point 2check out a shop.

a rather quiet day, we juz visited dif places 4makan, check out é cupcake stands, more hawker food n post xmas sale shoppin..

tml will b quiet day 2spent @hm. mayb i should start my bahasar malayu self learnin tml morn onwards… n of course continue job hunting…

mon i may b visitin è southern ridge walkin trail with sm home made bites n plain water 2eat on è way… 2pass time, exercise n hopefully 2b able 2sleep earlier n better…

wed n thurs mayb i will go sm mkt 2source 4good food find…

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