ivf#1, cycle 16, sm thoughts i will post aft 开奖

wat a sleep mon… today is job hunting n kl shoppin area planning… today is when é embryos turn 2blastocyst n wed is when blastocyst implant… i hav a dental aptm on wed noon, hope it wun affect è implantation if any…

if all is good fri is when blastocyst already implant n cont 2implant… we r takin off on fri, hope we have lots of fun…

so far 2days of insert is fine, my fren see blood 2wards é end, n it was dif 2insert… so 14days from now let’s see how…

even when i m havin a hard time findin a f/t job, i dun regret quittin 2ttc… i m more frugal now n i see more of myself… i muz try 2b a better person…

if this cycle fails, i will need 2pack my feelings n restart everythg.. i dun hav faith on that remainin one… so all over again – simulation, in btwn long q for scan 2track follicles, even longer q @pharmacy 4é very ex drugs… i gotta b workin @then.. so how? tahan lor..

sun 8 dec: i still hav sm very bad cramps… esp on left, i need 2pee more freq now…

mon 9 dec: heard on a tv programme tat 孩子是来帮我们修行的。。。 希望我们有这个缘分。。。

tue 10 dec: i wok up at 3am plus from a dream tat i was tested positive for hcg… my bladder was not holdin up well n i went to bathrm 2pee… n i think i had another dream tat we had triplets n 1 of the baby was like in a bad form of no skin….
i juz hope é positive hcg cum true.. i really hope 4a healthy bb in é year of horse!!

i still hav sm cramp, lik a pullin from center…

continue lookin n applying for jobs this morn, n saw one particular one lowly paid @a public instn quite attractive… so i sent my cv n sm1 called lik 30 mins later… in anycase still far from been hired.. i went down é agency n saw lik 1 big group of very young lookin people fillin up forms.. gosh 1 million yrs since i being 2such places… anyway i still need 2c if é orgn calls me for intv n if they r goin 2tak me in…

23 dec is very far away, it happens 2b é little one we luv bdae too, who knows if af starts b4 tat??? hope i can find smthg nice 2start 16dec… tak my mind off..

i have very weird stomach / gastric pains, lik recoverin from a bad stomachache…

at night as i finish din n bath, i feel my boobs r not so sore anymore n i hav this weird nausea.. è nausea usually comes with é bfn so far… sobz…

wed 11 dec: i wok up at 6am 2pee, n had a runnin nose while stayin awake… surf é web a bit… ask sis abt è online shoppin… aft he left for work i toss back in2 bed again…

it’s è long awaited aptm 2 fix lower right 2 teeth, it ckst me about sgd46, less than 10% of wat é weird dentist told me sgd4k + 6k… let me try 2tak good care of it… hoep it last

i read many blogs here n there on ivf… quite a bit of the blogs manage 2conceive a tak home baby happily in é end… i really hope è same happens to us this cycle.

i m havin cramps in arms n legs today… may b due 2è rainy weather… tml will b packin 4kl..

thur 12 dec: wok up @7am, try not go toilet 2pee n hoping i can go back 2sleep in till later… in é end i wok @8am, complete my morn ugestrone, cook noodles n cont job hunting… i muz say 23 dec is so so far…

was so bored @hm, so came to orc 2shop a bit… some cramp here n there n boobs less n less sore… headin hm @4.30pm, yawnz.. i m cravin 4cockles badly.. shall try 2have some @KL!

fri 13 dec: i really wok up 3.30am for KL!! never been happier 2be away…

super tired, weird pulls n cramp throughout morn n noon, rested @hotel ard 7till 8plus…

sun 15 dec: a ballpoint dot of red when i reach changi airport, more red streaks when i reach hm, gosh.. 8dp2dt! bless me.. tired today… i din see anymore of that red any more in sun. we finish sm unpackin n had din@85, followed by bedok mall…

mon 16 dec: wok up 4inserts ard 8.30am, packed orders n sent 2post ofc 4shippin.. bought brkfast n happiky tuck in… i actually called é agency 2follow up.. clap clap… but no news bah, she said will check n get back… more job huntin, yawnz..

i keep googling for streaks of blood 8dp2dt, implantation bleedin, also check other blogs i know of.. i think i m goin crazy n i m soo scared… nex week this tim 就开奖了… these blood can b an indicator for both ways… some cramp at sides at night…

sent many jobs application 2day… hope for good news soon…

tue 17 dec: somehow i feel lik goin out 4shoppin 2day… but shop tml will make more sense as dar dar can meet me aft tat… let’s see how…

i read a blog abt sm1 quitin 4ivf… é key word is canot differentiate one day from another… gosh… how true… i m so goin 2b depressed if it doesn’t work out this round.. sobz…

so tired of job hunting… yawnzz…

OH NO!! i cam back at 8.50pm n i see red!! omg!! i think i will see more red when i do my insert… all my effort, quit ft job, med down é drain… i m goin 2b so heartbroken… it’s 10dp2dt, 15d past hcg trigger… my frightenin toilet visits starts now…

comfort food… 2calm my nerves…
image

i din see red aft tat, but i hav 2b brave 4wats comin…

wed 18 dec: i wok up w/fear to go toilet… indeed i saw more reddish brown discharge when i wipe aft pee n aft i did é insert… my heart sank… i thk i can cry é wkend away…

one more thing to make me even sadder, my boobs r totally not sore anymore…

called kk at about 11.40am, it’s 12dp2dt, too early 4bt.. so i hav 2monitor, n if bleedin continue to do down for bt this fri, 14dp2dt. good in a way, if it’s all bad news i can start fresh nex week.

é same discharge continues for é rest of é day, sobzz..

thur 19 dec: on my way 2é choc makin class now… hope it is fun n tak é ivf thing out of my mind, for now… i dreamt of intv w/hr of tat idiot bank… i was tellin them sm weird thgs… i wok really early lik 8am, b4 é alarm went off… continue my insert, i din see blood, but i mUz b prepared 4wat’s comin.. dun cry ok… cleaned é house with magic wiper.. time 2get buzy… n start spring cleanin b4 cny… n of course continue job hunting!

è class is fun, fruitful… lots of choc 2take hm… rush back 2prep 4é intv n repack n keep é choc in fridge…

tat intv is informative, i think it’s a good success story… i m not sure if i can survive this competitive n sales oriented role…. i told them i need to think about it, will get back by thurs…

i did é noon insert quickly n dash out 4é intv, when i check @112 katong, there was quite some blood n brown… i know it’s over, but i m still so sad… tml i hav another intv for a 9m contract job @changi biz park… é names of é interviewers gave me a perception of the profile there, dun have a strong feelin they will take me, but will still try, pilish my intv skills…

stat board intv move 2mon morn, good in a way, mayb go bt 2certify also… mayb full af by then… n my boobs r totally not sore anymore… sobzz.. sobzz.. junior n mei mei, hav u both really left?? i feel é usual af lower back ache already… sobzzz…

fri 20 dec: glad the alarm is set to wak me up at 8.20am… at least i dun oversleep n waste é morn away… the same reddish brown discharge continues… sadz… it’s a bit out of é way for me to go kk today.. so i think i will go on mon, aft é stat board intv bah…

é changi intv was ok… more lik they wanted to know abt me than to test if i m up to é job… i kinda think é role is very operational…

my noon insert was done quite late, n while i din see more blood on é liner, i see more pink blood as i wipe.. i m wondering if i should stop é insert then é full af will start? let’s see how it goes 2nite…

i decided 2stop insert 2nite, mayb af will start tml… hobbit is not very intg… meow…

sat 21 dec: i saw a strong red today, it marks é end of é very expensive heart breakin ivf process! i really hope i can get é stat board temp, be at it for at least 5mths!! n get to do ivf or bfp naturally!!

but again i feel no regrets.. i din hav 2lie @work for being late nor shrink away any work responsibility while i was at this. i also managed 2try 2set-up my own company, keep orders comin, see results from my promo durin this 3mth. next 3menses cycle will be adjustin back a normalise cycle, hopefully i get é chance to do a fresh n et in the 3rd or 4th menses from now! n bfp with it! i know what i dun like, n i m fortunate to choose to do wat i like!

i am very thankful i hav a very supportive dar dar, behind me support me no matter wat…

keep moving!

final timeline
18nov-2dec – stimulating med
3 dec – hcg trigger @11.30pm
5 dec – er
7 dec – et (2 grade 4, 5 cell embryos)
7-8 dec – medan (cancelled)
11 dec – dental aptm
13-15 dec – KL
16 dec – start work (din happen)
21 dec – af started
23 dec – blood test

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