she is feeling very lost…

on one hand, she is asking if it is wrong call 2quit a seemingly glam job for a failed iui n ivf, n now she feel she is not able 2find her way back… not sure which way as well…

on é otherhand, she believe she will be even more depressed 2stay on n see wats goin on n be even more deeply rooted 2a situation that she may not be able to get out when she turns 40ys…

i came 2guan yin temple 2day n pray for some guidance, to hav a good temp job so that i will b occupied till next ivf or perm job with good working conditions… n most importantly to have a healthy baby of our own!

i think in any case, i hav no regrets, i will only keep getting older, i rather i try all i can now then 2regret not trying harder when i was younger years later…

my heart is still at a loss, this fri is é earliest possible date to go kk for bt, tat will wrap up my weepy episode.

image

just as i was seepin this latte away, sm1 called… it’s not for a financial related job, it’s for a sales job… anyway i guess i got a chance 4intv. i was totally honest with è person, n he was still open for me to go for é intv. at least i got smthg to do tml, choc class n intv!!

back 2ivf, i m still so scared to go toilet now…

i got a miss call from é agent while walkin around waitin for him… finally he reach n we had din @kfc, i actually teared when i talk 2him about é kk bt, about how sad… he said there is nothing we can do, go 4é nex visit n see wat é doc says… at least we tried all we can now. but he feel i should go back 2work 2keep my mind occupied. go find smthg i like to do. failing ivf is not è end of é world or some1 dying… he said it’s ok we should try again, but i have to suffer all é pain… i dun mind all é pain n nonsense.. but i feel so heartbroken 2fail é cycle…

actually i agree, i also really feel that i should go back 2work too, to keep my mind occupied, but hopefully smthg i like or smthg flexible…

i really luv him so much, hope we can a baby of our own n bring more joy in2 our lives!

image

~~wat a memorable kfc dinner~~

i still dun regret quittin till this moment, é unseen stress of working with é team there would make me sit in depression by now…

my objective is to put down everythg n try for a bb now, at least when we have been there n tried all we can. so whatever happens aft this, i juz have to suck it up, as life always happen!!

juz as we brave é rain 2go back 2è car, i saw my phn blinkin in silent mode n it was è lady from è agency… i hav an intv later this week from é stat board… hope i hav some luck to get something i can stay for a long while…

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s